Rant rant rant rant

You know, I wish people weren't so close minded. It gets annoying, and sometimes hurtful. Especially when they don't know what they're talking about. I mean, before you insult people about their beliefs, or lives, learn something about the situation. It would be like me judging people on how they build a car. I can't because I don't know anything about it. I hope that example wasn't too horrible.

Anyways, I've been pretty lazy lately. I haven't really done much, or hung out with anyone except Zach. Not that it is a bad thing, I love being with him. I'm just going to try to spread my time. You know? So I will :) Oh that reminds me, Zach is coming to church with me this week :) It should be fun. I went to his, so now it is his turn to come to mine. I happen to be proud of it.

I have been really off track with my relationship with God. I really want to figure out how to fix it, but I go to church, feel a high, then I leave and feel just as lonely. Sorry that is really depressing. Haha. I know he is there and wants me to talk to him. I barely pray lately. It is sad. I haven't done devos. I don't really talk to God. I feel like I have something I still need to give him but I can't figure out what it is. It is more stressful than it should be.

I was looking at old pictures the other day with Zach. I have changed. Haha. I don't feel like I have but I have! I mean, I've grown up you know? I no longer look like a child. I'm turning into a young woman. Weird right?

Well I'll talk to you guys later. I LOVE YOU<3

61510~

So, tomorrow is a month. Haha. Thing is it has technically been a lot longer… Here’s the story:

We haven’t been “official” for more than a month, but we have had an on and off thing for like.. a year and a half. It was only extremely obvious. But it was definitely worth the struggle to get this far. You know? I’m actually happy with the relationship which as a lot of you know, is a big deal for me. I’m never this trusting.

We are going to Mukilteo tomorrow and going on go-carts. Don’t hate. It will be fun, then again everything we do is. Never a dull moment(:

He is special, this boy. <3

Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.

I feel like I have a huge heart. I care so much about my friends and family, whether they think I do or not. I love that I can be trusted and that people can talk to me when they need to. I love how I can keep secrets and give advice to people that can help them. It makes me feel like I’m needed. & Everyone wants to feel needed, right? (:

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.

Way to start on a bad note. Haha.

Alright well, I honestly don't like my physical appearance at all. Haha. I have soo much I want to change about it. Skin, hair, weight, everything. I guess I like having imperfections but I just want to be "pretty". It isn't a media thing either. The media drives me crazy with their 60 pound whore girls. Haha. I want to be better to myself. You know?

On a lighter note;

I'm happy. Finally.
REALLY happy.
<3

Jealousy is a terrible thing.

You know, I wonder if anyone else feels like this because of you. & I can't even be mad, because I don't think you know you're doing it. You just make me feel like I am soo small. Not in size, but you know what I mean. You judge me with your eyes and I see it. I hate it. I wish I could hang out with you like I used to and I wish it would make me happy. But I can't. And the fact I'm unhappy already makes it suck more. I know you have my best interest at heart but do you have to be better at me at EVERYTHING?

Oh and one more thing. You judge me and my boyfriend. Thing is, you don't know our relationship. You can't judge it. Well you can, it is just without any real information. Its lies.

Thing is though, you're one of my greatest friends. But I'm bitter over jealousy, which makes it hard to appreciate it.

30 day challenge.

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like crap.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself